Internet Shopping

Confession: I don't really like to shop online. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE to shop online. Let me start again: I love to shop online for products I've already seen in the store. So I know what I'm getting. Otherwise, I see a picture like this:

of a cool radio-controlled toy and I'm imagining a scene like this:




But what I get is this:


And okay, probably the fault is mine. They do have reviews, comparison sites, and product specifications online. But, I get all excited. I imagine the big reveal. I picture myself toting around the Shiny New Toy. And all sense gets sucked into the great vortex of shopping excitement. I hit the "buy" button and feel a rush.

Then the package arrives.

So the other day I bought some books on Amazon. Books are pretty safe to buy online. I mean, a book is a book right? But when they came, one of the picture books I'd ordered was in board book format. Now, this is actually a good thing. If you know my kids you know board books are the way to go around here. I sort of imagine the boys lugging a board book version of Moby Dick to some literature class someday.

But it wasn't what I expected. And though in this case it was a pleasant surprise, it reminded me how careful you have to be. Sort of like the internet is the tricky leprechaun  of shopping. If you don't phrase your request just right he'll find a loophole and you'll end up with a timeshare in Montana. (note: I have nothing at all against Montana. I hear they have sky. Big sky).

Moral here? ebooks. Not only am I never confused about what I'm getting when I buy an ebook, but I get it instantly. No waiting! No UPS guy! No brown boxes I save for six months, throw away, then buy the exact same size at the store the next week because I need to mail something.

And that is my post about the changing publishing industry. Feel free to quote me.

In Random

1. I hate carpet. It gets gross. And smelly. And it stains. Sometimes it has a lot of stains. And when you vacuum and feel like ah, now it is finally clean? Totally still gross. You just got up the crusty Cheerios which had been ground in by the small yet eerily strong feet of tiny people.

2. I am completely addicted to sugar. Have I mentioned this before? Let me enlighten you. Addicted. To. Sugar. I went off it for a week, and I expected great things. Did I get them? No. I gained two pounds. It might have related to the superbowl extravaganza, but really people. It wasn't SO crazy. So this week I've been back on it. Sneaking little treats. Searching the cupboards for hidden goodies. I might need professional help.

3. I make my own pizza. And it is soooo good. Maybe not quite the same as my brother's although I don't know. I've gotten better lately. And almost nothing makes me happier than the smell of something yeasty rising. Is that weird? It is undoubtedly related to #2. *sigh*

4. This blog post has been brought to you by my three children, who are being suspiciously quiet downstairs. I checked on them a few minutes ago. But I don't want to go back, because the minute they see me they realize they have approximately 1,245 immediate needs. Of course, this means the 18-month-old is being supervised by two 4 1/2-year-olds. Don't think too hard about this.

5. Me: Hmm. My head hurts. And my teeth. And I've got lots of pressure. Probably sinuses. I should probably take something. *a few minutes go by* Head. Sinuses. Get medication. *an hour later* Dang! Why does my head hurt so bad? I bet I need to eat about 9,000 calories in conversation hearts. Nothing helps a headache like artificial color and sugar. *ten minutes later* Oops.

5.

Monday Cheer

Okay so it isn't even Monday yet, and I'm already dreading it. Plus, this is the Monday before Thanksgiving, and even though I'm not hosting it this year, turkey day requires some prep. I need to expand my stomach's capabilities by gorging on ridiculous amounts of chips and salsa (oh. wait. check). I need to bake possibly two cheesecakes. I might venture into the land of pumpkin bread (or maybe the pumpin bread pudding Bobby Flay made on that Throwdown. MMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMmmm. Insert Homer Simpson drool). Plus, I should probably do my laundry and clean the house. So yeah, Monday.

But, Monday happens every week people! We can beat this thing! With a little know-how, some pluck and common-sense determination we can and will rise above the muck that is Monday and turn it into...Tuesday? Really, I've got no idea. But here:


That helped the Monday blues, didn't it?

(btw, I found it here).

Mysteries of the Universe

• How can you tell if blue cheese has gone bad?
• Where do those socks go in the dryer?
• How is it that Smarties are always the candy given away at checkstands? Did it win some kind of dime-candy lottery? And, how is it possible I, every once in awhile, like Smarties?
• How many weight-loss miracles are there? And why do we all still have a few more pounds to lose?
• At what point on the cleanliness spectrum is your house considered clean?
• Does it also have to be organized?

A few questions to ponder today. Enlighten me, if you can.

On Messy Houses and Cottage Cheese

This post actually has nothing to do with cottage cheese.

Here's a thing I've noticed: I don't like cleaning. I like things to be clean, but I don't love cleaning. Much like I am terminally disorganized. And how cooking is fine, but the dishes...

So, yeah. Work isn't my favorite and my best. It. is. work. And, I'll own it: I'm lazy. Thank goodness for audiobooks. Because, quite frankly friends, I need a story. There's no narration doing the dishes (incidentally, this is also the reason I'm terrible at math). I like tasks with a story. And, since the advent of e-audiobooks at my library I've got narration for everything. I remember the exact part of Inkheart I was listening to when I painted the flowers on babygirl's walls. Weeding the garden: Pillars of the Earth made me weep. Airman caught me by surprise while I was scrubbing eggs off my no-longer-nonstick frying pan. I was parts angry and parts excited listening to Mockingjay while I mopped the floor.

You know, since I was little I'd tell myself stories to put myself to sleep. I like my head filled with stories. I like a plot arcing through the drudgery of everyday.

There really isn't a point to this post, except to say life would be pretty sad without stories.