Thursday, October 21, 2010

Disappointment and Perseverance

PS--turns out, neither of the words in the title of this post are ones I can spell correctly without help.

Got a rejection yesterday. From an agent who I'd done two revisions for, who had my MSS exclusively for ten months.

It stung.

She didn't give lots of reasons, other than she didn't feel it was competitive enough. Or, strong enough to be competitive. And I can respect that, as a reason. I have lots of other conflicting emotions about the way she (and, to be honest, I) handled the whole process. But the bottom line is, she didn't love my book. It wasn't what she thought it could be. Is she right? I wish I knew.

The adrenaline rush of bad news was pretty productive. I revised my query and sent out a new batch (and got a rejection--with a nice PS!). It feels good to have it out there with other agents, even if just queries are out there. Meanwhile, I need to work on my WIP, and I am so much more motivated than yesterday.

So, I'm not giving up. Not on writing. Not on Webs. But...

What if she's right? What if it isn't competitive? What if...

And its always the what ifs that'll kill you. In writing. In life. And, I've decided, oh well. I mean, what? I fail? Isn't that the point I'm at right now? How will continuing to try make it more true?

I'm simplifying. The tricky bit about writing is it takes time. Time you're not cleaning, playing with kids, or doing any of the hundreds of other things I've got on my plate. People suffer. Okay, mostly my husband suffers. Is it fair to him? To me? How much time do I dedicate to something I may not get anything out of.

So I've decided to (drumroll) cut off (or at least way, way down) the tv. I mean, if its time I'm worried about what sucks more time than that? And no more web surfing. No MSN Entertainment. No Yahoo! OMG. And, maybe, for a bit, no more twitter? We'll see. Time is a funny thing. Some people cross-stitch. Not that I have anything against needlework, but I'm not sure eighty hours on an I-love-you-beary-much picture is really a more productive waste hobby than writing something maybe no one will ever see.

So I write. More. And I'm kind of happy again. It is nice not to have a feeling like the other shoe is about to fall. You know what? It fell. I survived.


Melanie said...

Wow Janine. That's a real heart braker and very very frustrating. But your attitude about it is awesome. it's so easy to want to give up in this business. to feel as you said, am i wasting my time? it's all about perseverance and hey, if you can make through the newborn phase of twins without giving up on life (cause let's face it, there were times i wanted to call it quits, even though i obviously couldn't really do that), then you can get through anything. never give up on your dream. ever.

Connie said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!! But I'm glad to hear that you're persevering. Remember how close you are!

p.s. (I'm waiting to hear back from an agent on a second R&R that I did for her, so I may be commiserating with you soon.)

ka.thy br.adey said...

I hear you on this one. Yes, it is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry about your R. Good luck for your next book! x

Mohamed Mughal said...

I'm sorry to hear the band news and sorry to hear what you're going through as a result. I'd say "Hang in there," but it looks like you already are and that's great.

Ellen said...

:( :( :( I'm sorry! But I have to disagree with the agent, I think your writing is definitely competitive. And if it's not the right market for Webs right now (though it should be, cause that story's awesome!!), then you'll place something else for sure.
Glad you kept writing :)