I'm being brave

I've been querying Webs, my completed urban fantasy young adult novel, off and on for over two years. I've stopped to revise, once with an agent on an exclusive basis for nearly a year. Obviously, that didn't work out. My point is I'm not shy about sharing my stuff. I've sent it to friends and family WAY before it was any good. I've had beta readers. I've posted bits in forums for feedback.

But...now I'm putting it up on Wattpad's Gatekeeper contest (see details here and here). And I'm a little scared.

I'm scared because now people who I've been hiding from will see my writing. Friends and family who I haven't told about my writing. I love these people. I don't think they'll be mean. I just...don't want them to see me as a failure. And we all know that the writing journey, for so many of us, is long and full of bumps and sometimes it ends differently than we want. I don't want them to know about all my failures. Or, I don't want them on the journey with me.

But that isn't fair to them. I mean, none of them want me to fail. And even if a bubbly teen fairy tale isn't their cup of tea, I'm sure they'll support me. I just want to present only my best self, and I'm afraid they'll see all the rejections sort of like blemishes. Even though they won't. But what if they did? Like having someone drop by when I've got dirty diapers piled in a heap by the tv and the dishes full of dishes and my kids still in pajamas and noon (or in other words, everyday). I'm afraid for people to see the real me.

I'm getting past it. I'm being brave. I'm putting my baby out there, warts and all. Oh, and if you're curious, you can check out the opening of my story here. If you stop by, I'd love a vote...the first round is all about votes. And also: self-promotion? Another thing that makes me really nervous.

Sigh...

Crazy Author

So she isn't really a crazy author, but Maggie Stiefvater is doing some major spring cleaning and giving away scads of books. Really. Huge stacks Of yummy, delicious, books. You should head over there and enter.

What We Say

My blog doesn't get a lot of traffic. I don't post on it all that much. And I'm not scintillating. 

But I never forget it is a public place. The things I say here? They'll stick around, especially if they're stupid or rude or offensive. And, maybe I'll at times be okay with rude. Or offensive. I'll try to shy away from stupid, but sometimes that one fights back.

I think sometimes on blogs, or twitter and oh-my-goodness-all-the-time on facebook people forget this isn't a phone call with their bff. They aren't scribbling in their journal from sixth grade with the little lock on the cover. Censor yourself, or don't, but remember, someday a boss will read it, or someone you want to be your boss. A potential girlfriend/boyfriend. A stranger with life experience so far from yours you couldn't even imagine them when you posted about the stupidity of owning fake chinchilla fur wall hangings. 

That's all. The internet is the ultimate six-year-old brother. It'll come tearing out of the room with your favorite granny underwear on its head and scream about the time you spilled lemonade all over the front of your white pants just as your mom finishes taking prom pictures. And the internet never grows up, matures, or forgets. 

So be careful. Be smart. And hopefully be a bit more scintillating than I am.

Internet Shopping

Confession: I don't really like to shop online. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE to shop online. Let me start again: I love to shop online for products I've already seen in the store. So I know what I'm getting. Otherwise, I see a picture like this:

of a cool radio-controlled toy and I'm imagining a scene like this:




But what I get is this:


And okay, probably the fault is mine. They do have reviews, comparison sites, and product specifications online. But, I get all excited. I imagine the big reveal. I picture myself toting around the Shiny New Toy. And all sense gets sucked into the great vortex of shopping excitement. I hit the "buy" button and feel a rush.

Then the package arrives.

So the other day I bought some books on Amazon. Books are pretty safe to buy online. I mean, a book is a book right? But when they came, one of the picture books I'd ordered was in board book format. Now, this is actually a good thing. If you know my kids you know board books are the way to go around here. I sort of imagine the boys lugging a board book version of Moby Dick to some literature class someday.

But it wasn't what I expected. And though in this case it was a pleasant surprise, it reminded me how careful you have to be. Sort of like the internet is the tricky leprechaun  of shopping. If you don't phrase your request just right he'll find a loophole and you'll end up with a timeshare in Montana. (note: I have nothing at all against Montana. I hear they have sky. Big sky).

Moral here? ebooks. Not only am I never confused about what I'm getting when I buy an ebook, but I get it instantly. No waiting! No UPS guy! No brown boxes I save for six months, throw away, then buy the exact same size at the store the next week because I need to mail something.

And that is my post about the changing publishing industry. Feel free to quote me.

In Random

1. I hate carpet. It gets gross. And smelly. And it stains. Sometimes it has a lot of stains. And when you vacuum and feel like ah, now it is finally clean? Totally still gross. You just got up the crusty Cheerios which had been ground in by the small yet eerily strong feet of tiny people.

2. I am completely addicted to sugar. Have I mentioned this before? Let me enlighten you. Addicted. To. Sugar. I went off it for a week, and I expected great things. Did I get them? No. I gained two pounds. It might have related to the superbowl extravaganza, but really people. It wasn't SO crazy. So this week I've been back on it. Sneaking little treats. Searching the cupboards for hidden goodies. I might need professional help.

3. I make my own pizza. And it is soooo good. Maybe not quite the same as my brother's although I don't know. I've gotten better lately. And almost nothing makes me happier than the smell of something yeasty rising. Is that weird? It is undoubtedly related to #2. *sigh*

4. This blog post has been brought to you by my three children, who are being suspiciously quiet downstairs. I checked on them a few minutes ago. But I don't want to go back, because the minute they see me they realize they have approximately 1,245 immediate needs. Of course, this means the 18-month-old is being supervised by two 4 1/2-year-olds. Don't think too hard about this.

5. Me: Hmm. My head hurts. And my teeth. And I've got lots of pressure. Probably sinuses. I should probably take something. *a few minutes go by* Head. Sinuses. Get medication. *an hour later* Dang! Why does my head hurt so bad? I bet I need to eat about 9,000 calories in conversation hearts. Nothing helps a headache like artificial color and sugar. *ten minutes later* Oops.

5.

Um, if you're reading tonight

I just found that bookalicio.us is giving away a whole heap load of great stuff. Like a Nook Color! But you've got to enter tonight. The giveaway ends tomorrow.

Quick!

In keeping with the themes of this blog (themes? blog? what I am doing here? is this thing on?) I thought it essential you know The Cosby Show is now being streamed on Netflix instant watch.

Be still my heart.

Many happy hours were spent as a child watching Cosby. And seriously? Watch the pilot. Best. Show. Ever.

Proof:


*happiness*

Funny How...

I thought I watched the Superbowl yesterday. Except, we talked a lot during the game. Which we watched on DVR so of course someone had called to tell us who won before the end. And we skipped the halftime show, and the singing at the start. Which was apparently too bad because the rumor is Christina Aguilera messed up the lyrics? Seriously?

Anyhoo, I did pay attention to the commercial. Maybe it was my one-semester stint as a marketing major. Maybe its just about how much I watch TV (trying to cut back. Really). But commercials fascinate me. Like, why can't there be a good local commercial? Why do some commercials make you laugh AND make you want to buy something (oh haii Old Spice Guy). And some just make you want to run screaming from the room?

So, here are my favorite commercials from yesterday. Which, btw, wasn't a great commercial superbowl. Pepsi particularly made me sad. They're usually so reliable.

I think I liked this because I have in my life watched a LOT of HGTV:


We actually rewound so my friend who was putting out kiddo fires, could see:


I loved this one too:



If you want to see the full rundown, check out this site.

Perhaps I'll post some failures tomorrow. But honest, who wants to watch them?

PS--I still think the best commercial was the VW force one below. Honestly. It won hands down.

Pertains to Nothing

I've mentioned before, I am not really a football fan (although once in a while I can really get into a good college game, if I have an interest in one of the teams or someone seems like a really nice guy. Yeah. I'm that girl). But I love football parties, particularly superbowl parties. So I'm excited for Sunday. And bonus with the superbowl is sometimes even the commercials are entertaining. Like this one:


Now that's made of win people.